Older participants in Channel 9’s relationship series Married at First Sight tend to take a different approach to what the show’s relationship expert John Aiken calls the TikTok generation.
The top Australian-rated social experiment, which celebrates its tenth year and this year features five West Australians, airs weekly on Channel 9 and 9Now.
The show involves a set of 20 participants, matched by relationship experts John Aiken, Mel Schilling and clinical sexologist Alessandra Rampolla. They meet at the altar on their wedding day without having met at all previously.
The oldest participant in this year’s line-up of hopeful romantics is 53-year-old charter captain, Tony.
“The older individuals that are on the show take a different position to the TikTok generation that have come on to the experiment,” Aiken says.
“They’ve got more life experience, they look at relationships through a different lens and challenge some of the younger ones about what they’re saying about relationships. So that’s why we love having the 40–50-year-olds on the show. They give it more layers than just having a whole lot of youngsters on there.”
That doesn’t necessarily mean their relationships are any better than the younger people.
“I’d say that they have equal challenges, but they’re just different ones. Older participants can often get stuck in their ways – they’ve got certain things that they’ve always done.
“I think also they also can struggle at times with experts, who are younger, giving them feedback.”
Aiken says they think he’s a bit of a know-it-all who tries to lecture them.
Older participants are generally a bit more accepting of the advice that Aiken provides but it does depend on how stuck in their ways they are.
“The younger ones are often outraged that someone would give them feedback about their relationships. They don’t have a lot of self-awareness – whereas the older ones are a bit more respectful in how they take it on.”
Aiken’s role on the show can be quite confrontational as he tackles couples’ relationship issues, but the stress doesn’t seem to bother him.
“I enjoy the platform because I’m a practical person. I like short, sharp advice. And Married at First Sight gives me the ability to do that.
“It suits my character, so I enjoy it first and foremost, and it excites me. I try very hard to keep a balance outside of the show because when it’s on TV, the spotlight is very bright for about 10 weeks. You’re doing interviews and being stopped in the street, and people want to give their opinions.
“I tend to just disappear for several months before the filming starts again. I really get away from it and try and keep a balance, try and keep healthy.
“As a psychologist I also get supervision on a regular basis.
“I’m constantly talking to my supervisor about what’s going on, and they’re able to really give you support.
“There’s not that many people out there that can understand what it’s like when you are filming till five in the morning and you are on edge and you’re having to try and work through a lot of relationship issues.
“So having someone that you can just see on a real regular basis to debrief is very important.”
While something like 90 per cent of Married at First Sight relationships fail, Aiken takes comfort from the five couples who are still together, brought together by the series.
Aiken doesn’t believe that failure rate is through poor matches on his part.
“When I’m matching them, I know why they are matched, but there are so many variables that come into it.
“There are a number of reasons why they won’t make it over the line. It could be that they have issues that hold them back or it could be that they’re just not attracted to the person. My goal is really to hope that what they get out of it is some sort of learning about themselves as individuals, but also of relationships.
“And that’s the focus. If they find love, that’s an added bonus. But if they learn something, that’s where my focus is.
“They surprise me like everybody else. I’m sitting there on week number three and the person that I thought I knew suddenly has a very different side coming out.
“It’s not something that often helps their relationship. As a result of that, it is very hard to get long-term matches out of it.
“So thankfully we have couples that are together that have been married, that have got kids as a result of the experiment.”
The show runs four nights a week from Sunday 7pm, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday at 7.30pm or watch on 9Now.
